Comments (4)

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  international marriage

  December 15, 2009 at 3:29 pm | #

  There are allot of reasons why western and Asian relationships don’t work out,maybe they just relate.

  Couple of samples are:

  Ones behavior ,might be considered very rude in the other ones opinion.

  sometimes there family members come too much (usually the Asians side)and they might do weird things like walk around in PJ’s!

  SOME Asians only do this for money(normally poor Chinese people so far).

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  Sexy African mail order brides

  December 19, 2009 at 1:50 am | #

  My brother married a Chinese woman, and although this is the only such mixed couple that I know well, I’ll tell you what I observed of my (former) sister-in-law and her family.

  First, Chinese people feel themselves to be more entitled to “honor” than us White Westerners. They seem to have an insecurity complex that manifests as an insistence upon their dignity, and an exaggerated entitlement thereto. When they frown at you, don’t you DARE frown back!

  Second, a Chinese wife will use her husband’s income to support her Chinese family. She will use the marriage as sort of a funnel to transfer as much wealth as possible from the White side of the family to the Chinese side. She will insist on keeping the books, managing the money, finding out how the husband has been spending money, while keeping her own financial dealings secret from him.

  A Chinese wife might start out in her marriage being barely able to speak English, but after five years or so, she not only speaks English well, she has (informally) gained the equivalent of a law degree in the divorce & child custody laws of the (US) state in which she lives. At this point, she is continually measuring her situation with respect to being married versus being divorced and getting all that loot that the state and federal laws routinely permit ex-wives to take from their ex-husbands.

  And Chinese women tend to be very smart, as well as (typically) rapacious. She calculates all her moves well in advance, has her strategy worked out, has made contingency plans, as if she were a general in charge of a possible military campaign, with her husband being the enemy whom she must destroy.

  When my brother and his former wife were getting divorced, she deliberately got and maxed out a whole bunch of credit cards, thinking that she would get all the stuff she bought while he had to pay all of the bills. That plan backfired: she got stuck with FULLY HALF of the bill for what she bought. Yep, fully half. My brother has to pay the other half. But, in compensation to her, the judge gave her a bigger share of the home equity. (Compensation for what? Being fiscally irresponsible?)

  The law gives any Female the opportunity to take the Male She Married to the cleaners, legally. But Chinese women are shrewder than most about doing it.

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  Brazilian mail order brides

  December 21, 2009 at 4:18 pm | #

  I would think its hard to pin down exactly as Chinese in each country are different. Hong Kong and Singapore are more modern compared with Taiwan and China. There are also Chinese in other countries like in America or Asia which the new generation are now adapted to the new cultures but their parents still hold on some original cultures.

  In Chinese culture, even wife works and has her own money, she still expect her husband to be the head of family and take all financial responsibilities. In some families, the richer side might help support the poor side. It can be wife supporting husband’s family. Some Western might think this is odd and maybe not fair, but its a family things.

  Chinese may talk lound. Family and friends might come over a lot. So there might be less privacy. This might be annoying the Western husband.

  Chinese love to eat out and often with a big family member. Imagine a table-of-10 in Chinese restaurant. Of course, Western husband might be expected to pay for this:)

  There are many other cultural differences. Respect the elderies. Dignity is very important. Parents are more important than Children. The way Chinese critisize and discipline children, etc.

  Actually, those cultural differences nowaday are less and less as the world is getting smaller. People blended and changed. So we should not worry too much. We should experience the different culture. Learn the good things and drop the not-so-good things. But to do that, it would need an open-mind.

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  Japanese bride

  December 22, 2009 at 5:00 am | #

  let me tell you, in one case, many chinese women want to get something like green card by marrying with western men, in this case, they think that an honor not coz of the men they married with, but the country they will move in, you can find that almost no chinese women wanna stay in poor western countries, they prefer rich USA, GBR, GER. Once they get them, many of them dont think it necessary to maintain the relationship.(However, some couples also have true love, not utilitarian relationship) Another reason is the difference of culture. some couples cant adapt to it. western attach importance to privacy, even in a family, they dont tell everything to his or her lover, but in China, people think lovers should be honese to each other, and they should tell almost everything to each other, i dont think western people can bear that. Also, western are always independent, which let chinese women feel lonely or feared of their relationship, even though nothing happens.

  im a native, but i have to admit that many women in china have an utilitarian eye on marriage. that is not good for our society.

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